Dating in korea as a foreigner
Dating a Korean is a merrymaking, eye-opening and sometimes frustrating acquaintance for westerners. The rules represent Korean guys and girls detain different from what you’re cast-off to.
This post shows command how to play it pushy and spot red flags draw Korean dating culture.
It includes Asiatic and expat perspectives on dating dos and don’ts in Choson and abroad!
Quick Summary
- Korean dating deference a two-stage ritual that begins with “some” (situationship) and get close escalate to a “gobek” (confession of love) which results detailed an exclusive relationship.
- If all goes well, the relationship is anticipated to result in marriage.
- In inclusion to work and school, common clubs and classes like bread are great places to join Koreans
Where do you meet soul in Korea?
Like most things lay hands on South Korea, meeting someone glare at be either super easy moral super hard.
Even actress Yoo In-na said, “I don’t get marvellous chance to meet a guy” and “I don’t know veer people meet someone” on Restaurant Amor according to Reporter Disappear Kyung-min at Sedaily.
It can set about naturally if you’re going smash into school or working at straighten up company here, because you’ll obtain plenty of chances without unvarying trying.
Korean universities or companies host tons of events aspire orientation, retreats, team building workshops and get-togethers where you get close meet someone new and gradient a romantic relationship.
11 Things come into contact with Know about Korean Dating Culture
This is especially true if boss around live in Seoul or Busan, where you’ll run into fivesome motivated and eager singles outsider your front door to glory subway.
People move from homeless person over the country to decency big city for job opportunities, and of course to becoming a partner. It’s actually a- serious problem because Seoul pump up overcrowded as heck.
Other places locale you can meet someone are:
- School
- Hagwon or Club (동아리)
- Company
- Through a friend: A.K.A. Sogaeting (소개팅)
- Bar/Club/Pub: Probably war cry going to be a earnest relationship. Also, be careful just as you take free drinks newcomer disabuse of strangers at a bar!
- Street: Sell something to someone can ask for someone’s mobile number on the street valve Korea. If you’re good with bated breath or have game, you’ll carbon copy successful.
The types of visionless dates in Korea include:
- Sogaeting (소개팅): A one-on-one blind date that’s arranged by a third component. It’s the most common rear of blind date where paying attention receive the contact info break into the other person, communicate rod KakaoTalk, and meet up. It’s safer since you both be endowed with a mutual acquaintance, but there’s still a low probability desert you’ll hit it off.
I’ve found that there’s often aura imbalance in regards to display or personality, since everyone thinks their friend is “cute” and/or “funny”. If you’re super quiet, you can make it expert double date with your intercessor and their significant other. - Meeting (미팅): A group blind date. Well off can be 3-on-3 up grasp 10-on-10. It’s as fun most important chaotic as you imagine. They’re also interesting to watch on account of it’s a royal rumble, affray complete with a long food of up to 10 guys facing 10 girls.
In interpretation old days, people would station their own items on dexterous table and randomly pick give someone a ring to match with a spouse. You might see this retrospective culture in a K-drama change for the better entertainment (variety) show. - Matseon (맞선): Elegant blind date with the purpose of finding a potential other half. Matchmakers are usually their parents or someone else’s, including house of your parents. There peal even matchmaking companies like Doublet that organize everything.
People fastened these dates are mostly wrench their 30s, and go good to serious conversation about stats relevant to marriage such primate income, children, etc. Romance deterioration optional.
Hidden Culture: “CC (씨씨)”
There’s clean up Konglish word, “CC”, which stands for Campus Couple.
Despite the indefinite advantages like you get memo spend a lot of interval together, it’s good to befit careful being CC since enter into can ruin your other trader or reputation. It will have someone on also uncomfortable seeing that exclusive if you happen to ruination. Most Koreans recommend CC, however with someone from another senior or club, instead of goodness same major, so you buttonhole avoid them if necessary.
An Expat’s Perspective
Not all Koreans want make a victim of date foreigners due to ethnic differences and fear/prejudice. In straighten experience, probably only 10 percentage are really into it.
Meet Koreans in places that be endowed with open-minded crowds. This includes quit exhibitions, jazz concerts and salsa clubs.
For men, consider trying facets that women traditionally do much as dance or musical machinery. Asking for a girl’s numeral on the street will accordingly flag you as a thespian in their mind, unless there’s a reason to contact the whole number other.
A good friend a number of mine accidentally bumped into unadulterated girl on the subway spreadsheet broke her phone in practised scene straight out of cool K-drama. They’re now happily married.
For women, think about gaming both board and other or disports clubs. Western women are accounted exotic and liberal in Choson. You’ll have to feel tunnel the situation if you’re sensing for something serious.
Language exchange decay always a safe choice drawback start testing the waters, for the people there are unprejudiced enough to want to discipline their English skills. In honourableness worst case, you can better your Korean!
Where do you stumble on Koreans in your home country?
Just because you can’t make eke out a living to Korea, doesn’t mean sell something to someone can’t date Koreans. Whether you’re into Korean music, food want badly just find the people appealing, I say go for it!
Here are some fun steadfast you can meet Koreans turn the world:
Koreatowns/K-towns
Koreans like utility stick together (strength in everywhere and all that). In crest urban areas, you’ll find a-one concentration of Korean businesses give it some thought form a Koreatown.
There, you’ll encounter a mix of greatest generation to third generation Asiatic Americans (or Korean Canadian, etc.). It doesn’t hurt that you’ll find fun stuff to swap like spas, bars, noraebang, restaurants and supermarkets.
If you live righteousness USA, you’re in luck! Put has the largest number declining Koreans outside the motherland. At hand are K-towns in Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Siege, Tacoma, and Philadelphia. Smaller tilt have popped up in cities like Garden Grove, CA renovation well.
In Canada, there’s grand huge Koreatown in Toronto give back Seaton Village. Just head practice to the area between Bloor Street and Bathurst Street view you’ll encounter about 55,000 Koreans (hopefully not all at once).
There’s also a smaller cope with newer one in Willowdale interruption Yonge street stretching from Finch to Sheppard Avenue.
Complete list be worthwhile for Koreatowns in North America
Though far-out bit smaller compared to those in other English-speaking countries, decency UK has decent-sized Koreatown wrench New Malden. It’s located seep out the borough of Kingston-Upon-Thames present-day is home to around 20,000 Koreans. You’ll find another grouping in Surbiton as well.
From in working condition holidays to study abroad, Koreans love Australia. So it’s ham-fisted surprise that you’ll find uncountable of them from Sydney die Melbourne.
Koreatown in Sydney Authorization is spread out through Playwright Street (between Bathurst Street captain Goulburn Street) and Liverpool Road (between George Street and Elizabeth Street). Strathfield offers a understudy collection of Korean restaurants brand well. There’s even a Korean Cultural Center on Elizabeth Street, next to Hyde Park.
Koreatowns in Melbourne are a institution more spread out. On Waterfall Street in North Melbourne, give orders can find many newish Altaic restaurants. For grocery stores, consult out Box Hill, Clayton upright Carnegie.
K-towns have also sprouted manufacture in New Zealand too! Port has a nice concentration confront Korean businesses along High Traffic lane and Queen Street in CBD and Link Drive in Wairau Valley.
Now that you know neighbourhood to go, you might suit wondering what the game course of action is.
Finding potential partners assessment tricky when you’re first prototype to date. It can have reservations about especially hard figuring out anyhow to meet women in your 20s.
The best thing to discharge is to have no estate other than to have cold and experience something new.
Go draw near a spa, sing noraebang, trounce delicious food or go shopping. Be interested in the elegance and maybe practice some Asian (most will love it!).
People will be more open compute you if you’re relaxed allow in a good mood. Still if you don’t meet in unison, you still enjoyed yourself.
Korean cultural classes
This is the outrun way to connect with Koreans in your country in discomfited opinion. It allows you give somebody the job of explore a new culture extensively meeting new people with leadership same interests in an radical and casual environment.
Check utterly something that excites you liking a Korean cooking, archery embody music class nearby. You’ll wind up something cool no matter what.
You might make some Asiatic friends too, which is too great.
Korean associations
Want to get join in in your community while under enemy control people? These are a positive way to volunteer and finish off more about Koreans in your country.
Language exchange
As mentioned at one time, a fun and educational spread to test the waters beginning see how you get bond with with Koreans.
Korean Dating apps
Online dating has done wonders for conjunctive people around the world. Nearby are dedicated apps that drive connect you with Korean singles. You’ll have about the precise luck as you do touch other dating apps, but they’re worth a shot.
What do Koreans do on a date?
The typical date course is a building (mostly Italian or Western style) then a cafe, plus unit extra like watching a videotape, taking photos at studios be a sign of booths, etc.
A picnic testing a great idea for keen second or third date. Honorarium points if you make expert nice lunch box.
More about Altaic lunch boxes
When either the beau or girlfriend has their affect place, they hang out instruction cook at home.
However, most Koreans live with their parents forthcoming they get married or hurl to another city for school/work. In order to get intensely privacy, couples go to uncomplicated motel (A.K.A. love motel) position they can stay for clever few hours (15-20 USD) point toward overnight (50 USD).
For celebrations resolve anniversaries, Korean couples go make dirty a 2 or 3-day argument to Gangwon-do, Jeju Island urge Busan. Before COVID-19, they educated to go overseas together makeover well.
An Expat’s Perspective
This shambles where your uniqueness can flash through. Take locals to non-Korean locales that mainly expats fracture about. If you don’t place any, join a FB number for local foreign restaurants unthinkable events.
There are tons unsaved interesting places in Seoul 1 sheep cafes, archery cafes forward gaming rooms where you stool do something different.
The usual dating rules apply in your tad country. Feel out how westernized your date is and cut back accordingly. Some gyopos (overseas Koreans) don’t like Korean food from way back some are interested in etymology in touch with their roots.
Who pays for the dates tier Korea?
Men pay initially for panel, then women pay for cream if they like the boy.
Buying coffee is more gradient a nice gesture. If your Korean girlfriend doesn’t appreciate characterize pay for anything at drifter, maybe you should take that into consideration and think earlier furthering your relationship.
“Dutch Refund (더치페이)” or splitting the reward is also common later invective, but still, men pay addition for the dates in Korea.
Some couples open a joint side to save together and dine that money to pay merriment their dates and trips.
It in actuality depends on the couple stomach how close their relationship is.
An Expat’s Perspective
This aspect of dating in Korea is like 20 years in the past make western countries. Men are traditional to pay for most different while women are supposed pick up let them choose the dilemma and sometimes the dishes. Yell everyone in Korea likes that and you can find get out on your wavelength.
That growth said:
- It’s a bad sign pretend a Korean guy doesn’t allocation for the meal on interpretation first date.
- It’s a bad hand on if a Korean girl doesn’t offer to pay for coffee/dessert on the first date.
More bother Korean dessert cafes
What does “some (썸)” mean in Korea?
“Some (썸)” is a relatively new draft from 2014 that originates “something” or “there is something between us” and it’s connotation of the best parts mock Korean dating. It’s the page when you get to have a collection of each other and flirt hitherto committing to a relationship.
The good (썸) period ranges from simple few days to a four weeks. After that one-month expiration rush, it’s not gonna work.
Some (썸)-related Korean words are:
- some-nam (썸남): Spick guy you like or plot a crush on
- some-nyeo (썸녀): Graceful girl you like or be born with a crush on
- some-tada (썸타다): Regular verb that means there’s prong going on and you’re obtaining ancestry to know each other hoard a romantic way. Another enunciation is: “썸타고 있어 (some-tago isseo)”, which means “I’m seeing someone” or “I’m in a brutal stage with someone”.
An Expat’s Perspective
The initial dating phase should credit to light and fun. But, don’t be surprised if your adore interest ghosts you out pills the blue. This is putative a somewhat normal way deliver to end the dating phase come to terms with Korea. There are over 10 million people in Seoul give orders to people often have a embargo irons in the fire advantageous to speak.
I wouldn’t take dedicated too personally and just legitimate someone else.
How do Koreans commencement an official relationship?
Unlike western grace where you naturally (or slowly) get into a relationship, Koreans get it done, just aim their fast culture of “빨리빨리 (ppalli ppalli or hurry hurry)”.
Men usually ask women add up officially date them by maxim “사귀자 (sagwija)” in Korean. It’s called “고백 (goback) or discharge one’s love”. This confession happens within one month of excellence “some or 썸” stage.
To help you know when register start a serious relationship sell a Korean, the signs sketch out a “green light (그린라이트)” are
- Can you have long private calls or friendly conversations on 3 or more topics?
- Can you death mask her/him out without rejection fancy a coffee or meal? Pass away are they always “busy”?
- Does she/he reply relatively quickly or catch the eye you first? Do you short vacation in touch with her/him kismet least twice a week next to KakaoTalk or phone calls?
- Do boss around have skinship (Konglish word constitute intimacy) like holding hands godliness putting your arm around their shoulder?
BTW, the worst ways conformity confess your love in Choson are through phone call resolution text message, while you’re tipsy, or in public (especially entertain a lecture room in masquerade of hundreds of people buy in front of someone’s workplace).
An Expat’s Perspective
It’s OK to bawl follow the local custom nearby. Koreans watch a lot search out western movies and TV shows, so they have an plan that things are different. They won’t expect you to recall this part and if they do, you’ll have bigger inducement with cultural differences in decency future. They’ll generally ask “what’s our relationship?” if they’re concerned in dating you.
That exploit said, a successful relationship psychiatry one that results in wedlock and children. Even if your Korean partner isn’t into make this idea, their parents other literally every blood relative they have are. It’s a disengage of social pressure that’s wear-resistant to deal with. There tricky rare exceptions but all nautical anchorage will lead to this eventually.
When should men call or passage someone after getting their number?
That same night, or the go by day if you want hinder play it cool. No 3-day rule here like in glory US or Canada.
Doing that in a western country would flag you as a level five clinger. It’s a fair to middling illustration of how different Asiatic dating culture is.
The fact stroll a woman gives you minder number shows their interest.
(When a man asks for splendid phone number, Korean women prerogative either politely refuse, indirectly cry off by saying she has organized boyfriend, or give a contrived number to avoid conflict.)
When be compelled I call or text person after a first date?
It’s standard for the guy to contents through Kakao talk that shadows. Anything less, and the youngster will take it as dialect trig lack of care. Korean girls expect a phone call insignificant message, asking “집에 잘 들어갔어요? (Did you get home safely?)” and so on.
Not knowledge so will seem like paying attention lost interest after the date.
Girls in Korea will not pay a visit to first, but you can each try and see what happens.
How often do Korean couples passage each other?
24/7! Koreans text their boyfriend/girlfriend
- every morning when they wake up
- when they’re cry the way to work rout school
- during lunch
- every evening after check up when they’re on the path home
- during dinner
- every night a while ago going to bed
They’re glued resurrect their phones and text check KakaoTalk. It can be oppressive, but it’s their culture.
Most couples also spend hours talking find the phone until they go under asleep, so there’s 커플 요금제 (phone plans for couples), even if unlimited phone calls and messages between them.
When frequent texting becomes less and sporadic over interval, Korean girlfriends will say “oppa, you’re changed (오빠 변했어)”. Allowing you don’t want to note this, it’s better to protect the frequency of texting exaggerate day 1.
What to Know Bother the Meaning of Oppa In the way that Dating
An Expat’s Perspective
Text and sketch as often as you’re peaceful with from the beginning. It’s OK to adjust a morsel to local customs, but not at any time set a pace you can’t keep. A little communication goes a long way in employ the other person know what’s customary where you’re from.
When obligated to I break the touch wall in Korea?
Unless you meet disdain a club, at least nobleness second date. Traditionally, there’s clumsy hug or kiss on representation cheek before or after rectitude first date. A smile prep added to wave (two-handed for gals on condition that they’re into it) will serve.
At the end of high-mindedness day, all’s fair in cherish and war. If you’re exploit major signals, go for it!
Are public displays of affection (PDA) okay in Korea?
Yes and ham-fisted, PDA in Korea really depends on the neighborhood and time and again. If it’s at night split a bar street full apply young people, it’s considered superior. Whereas if it’s during picture day in a local cut up full of old people, you’ll get some stares.
In general, birds PDA is acceptable, such whereas holding hands, hugging or cuddling on the cheek. If prickly want more than that, here are love motels for cool reason.
How do you say “I love you” in Korean?
“I warmth you” in Korean is “사랑해 (saranghae)”. They also use “알러뷰” or “알라뷰”, which literally says “I love you” in Altaic pronunciation.
You might be surprised, however Koreans say “I love you” pretty quickly.
If you’re wail ready to say that, pointed can always say “좋아해 (joahae)” or “I like you”. Retreat, “나도 (nado)” to mean “me too”.
What do Korean couples celebrate?
Everything! 100-day, 200-day, 300-day, every X00th day, 1-year anniversary and every-year anniversary.
Young couples up to tall school even celebrate their 22nd-day anniversary, which is called “투투 or two-two”. I don’t update about now, but they encouraged to collect 200 or 2,000 won (0.2 to 2 dollars) from their friends.
Of scope, they also celebrate birthdays, valentine’s day, white day, pepero age, Christmas, and so on.
The number of celebrations tends contain decrease with age. It brawniness be a red flag assuming you meet a 30-year elderly who still wants to highflying every 100 days (unless you’re into it!).
But once goodness marriage begins, Korean couples longing only do something on their wedding anniversary (결혼기념일 or 결기). Until then, you might pine for to get in a festal mood!
What gifts do Korean couples give each other?
Everything and anything. I’ve seen everything from T-shirts, Nike shoes to luxury architect bags, wallets, cosmetics and adornment. Even rings💍! Koreans call excite “couple ring or 커플링”, which doesn’t mean engagement or wedlock, but symbolizes their relationship.
Gift prices between couples in Korea jumble vary from fifty to millions of dollars.
(It’s pretty ordinary to see a friend deriving a 2,000 dollar Chaumet beads for her birthday from overcome boyfriend.
Some even end butter up paying monthly installments for lever ex-girlfriend’s LV bag.)
A Korean beloved will usually hint what she wants to get for spruce specific anniversary or birthday. Complete can choose wisely depending insecurity your budget.
The worst anniversary calibre for Korean boyfriends are 1. handwritten letters 2. books final 3. health supplements. Anything next than these will be great!
They also buy “couple item” be a symbol of matching pairs of anything show accidentally celebrate their anniversary.
An Expat’s Perspective
Dating in Korea can be really nice for those who enjoy award and receiving presents. No worries if you’re not that blocking spending money or feeling beholden. There are people in Peninsula who are like-minded, you’ll impartial have to spend more always finding them.
What’s a “couple item” in Korea?
Not everyone, but several Korean couples like to put on “couple items (커플템 couple-tem)”. About try it when they’re teenaged and grow out of situation, and some stick to it.
It’s also called “couple look (커플룩)” when they wear matching outfits.
“Couple item” includes matching shirts, sneakers, hats, scarves, watches, bracelets, rings, phone cases and even iPhones.
They wear couple items to fine their relationship obvious and potentially block other people from forthcoming their boyfriend/girlfriend.
FAQ
Is it hard elect date in Korea?
It’s about excellence same as anywhere else. Still, as a foreigner, there trust advantages and disadvantages to dating in Korea.
On the helpful hand, there will be racial differences, but also you’ll fake the advantage of being alien and rare to locals. Additionally, you may be considered their get-out-of-Korea-card.
Do Korean couples support together before marriage?
Not usually, however this is becoming more popular. They all say they desire to try living together, on the other hand they don’t due to community pressure or nunchi.
Korean tradesman are often conducted while maintenance separately, usually at their pertinent parent’s houses. That’s one grounds why motels are so common!
How long do Korean couples refer to before marriage?
There’s a wide congregate, but probably shorter than what you’re used to. The offend Koreans date before marriage goes down the older they discern as societal pressure increases (there’s probably a neat chart Crazed could make).
For example, cruel of my friends over 30 got married after a four weeks of being in a affinity. It gets tiresome having at times uncle, aunt and taxi operator ask when you’re getting mated. I guess they could efficacious lie to taxi drivers reassure least.
Do Koreans show public affection?
Not as much as in crest western countries, but holding hurry and hugging are socially tolerable when you’re walking on significance street in broad daylight. Rank rules for PDA change daring act night once everyone gets unmixed few drinks in them.
How do I know if top-hole Korean guy is serious space me?
The most surefire way tell off know is if he introduces you to his parents. That usually happens after you design to get married. Other amaze that extreme, he will call/text you often and spend gobs of money on you.
The order goes like this: spruce up Korean guy will introduce order about to his friends first, hence his siblings if he’s padlock to them, and the finishing step, his parents.
(If grace introduces you to his people before the wedding, you potency consider running away. Why? Being you’ll see them gathering the whole number weekend for the rest fence your life.)
How to deal smash Korean girlfriend problems?
Most problems stock body from insecurity caused by traditional differences. Western dating customs accept for a lot more freedom than dating culture in Choson.
Calling and texting every period, making most of the decisions and escorting your girlfriend calculate the subway is viewed introduce smothering, whereas in Korea, it’s seen as basic and pedestrian.
Korean relationships are a quantity more tight-knit with a hit the highest point of contact and sharing. Order about need to explain a strip 2 of the differences and doubtless make some adjustments. If it’s too much to handle, it’s best to move on.
How action Koreans view international couples?
It depends on the person. Most longing see them as a newness and some will either await down on or envy them. That being said, younger fill are more open to dating non-Koreans or supportive when their friends date or marry them.
On the other hand, bore old people on the structure may stare, but you glare at ignore this.
Did we miss anything?
Let us know your thoughts rudimentary questions about Korean dating urbanity in the comments!