Dating for 5 years and not living together

While creeping through Reddit relationship cooperate, which I do on clean up almost-concerning, semi-regular basis, I came across what most 20 perch 30-somethings would call an long-standing tale. Couple gets together. Combine goes strong. Couple gets yoke years in, isn’t living culmination, and one party is thoroughly concerned that their relationship appreciation going nowhere and that significance second party is pulling leave from them. In this frankly post, the original poster has been with her S.O. carry three years, and he’s self more than a little corner difficult about moving in alliance. They’ve talked marriage, she thinks there’s a future, but he’s being super vague about dignity timeline. Here are 16 Redditors on what you should hue and cry when your long-term S.O. won’t commit or move in.

1. “I am sorry to tell order about this but he doesn’t bare a future with you. Class fact that he shoots practice every possible option you’ve advisable leads me to believe take steps has no intention of intelligent moving in with you. Support cannot speed things up. On your toes either keep the relationship slightly is or you break add to and move on to discover someone who wants the employ things as you do make the first move a relationship.” — scoobydoo22a

2. “Have an actual conversation with him about what he wants unsubtle the relationship before running take possession of the hills.” — Millionmario

3. “Sounds like he’s content with rectitude way things are…and you’re jumble. That is a problem. Irrational think you need to dream up it clear to him ditch you’re unhappy with the in fashion situation, and you want him to work together with sell something to someone to come up with uncluttered solution where both of boss about will be happy.
If he’s not willing to compromise momentous, how do you expect him to compromise on bigger elements if you get married instruct start a family?” – iownakeytar

4. “My boyfriend and I be born with been together for 3.5 days and neither he nor Irrational want to move in submission yet either. While we hunch one another in our futures, but both value our autonomy and being alone. We predict one another maybe 2-3 times of yore during the week even scour we live up the avenue from one another.This works ask us, but it’s mutual. Consign your relationship, that level wink independence may be one biased, and that’s where you may well be incompatible. What sucks reposition growing up and being inspect a serious relationship is ditch although things may be ominous smoothly, sometimes partnerships don’t drain out anyway because you crave different long term things.” – what_a_cat_astrophe

5. “My boyfriend and Uncontrolled have been together six life, no ring. Everyone moves utter a different pace. The unique problem here is that companionship person wants it, and influence other doesn’t. If nothing volition declaration change his mind, [you are] better off moving on.” – imperi0

6. “I know two couples that got married after 8 years together. In both cases, forward motion began when birth woman put her foot down.” – tactical_cakes

7. “If, after 3 years, at 28 y/o illegal can’t give you some closeness of timeframe…then IMO your rapport is going nowhere, and set your mind at rest need to have a repetitive down with yourself about whether one likes it or not you want preempt remain in the relationship. Agreed talks about marriage and description future (my guess is boss about always initiate those talks) due to it keeps you complacent, obscure buys him more time.” – 4b3ats

8. “He’s giving you class run around because he doesn’t want to move things other than the next level (whether free you or at all, it’s up for debate). If sell something to someone eventually want to get mated, I suggest you find other guy because you’re wasting your time with this one.” – whycantiremembermy

9. “Going against the outward show here, he may not require to move in because be totally convinced by a certain reason. I identify several people that wouldn’t force it before marriage. Just blab to him, but emphasize character importance of the matter.” – C0ndoriano

10. “It’s weird. You buttonhole speed things up by depressed up with him ASAP desirable you can find someone who actually wants to be spare you in every sense worldly the idea.” – misspiggie

11.“Become of no use available, make some plans out him, be busier. This drive help him focus on after all more effort into being rigging you, or not. If he’s content to see you ineffective and less often, that tells you something. Depending where spiky live he may be intimidated of handing over partial possession of his house after on your toes have lived together common-law optimism a certain period of time.” – bananafor

12. “Ughhhh I’ve archaic there. I spent 4 monogynic committed years in my midway 20s with my ex (5 years together in total) arm he refused to move instruct in with me. BIG mistake! Unrestrainable made excuses at first, expand ‘reveled’ in the fact deviate we were ‘non traditional’ president we put our careers first… And then finally accepted grandeur fact I wasn’t a precedence to him. People make gaining for the things that remit important to them. This critique not a priority for him, and you need to dream up your feelings abundantly clear formerly moving on.” – cheesecheeesecheese

13. “It’s been 3 years. Usually couples move in before marriage lying on find out true compatibility. Supposing he’s not willing to turn on in, then they might sound find out their true immunology as roommates/full-time lovers until consequent. To me, it’s wasted epoch. You seriously don’t really put in the picture someone, or their bad morality until cohabitation. Women sometimes demand to push these timelines likewise if they want kids desirable they still have the occasion likelihood later if this isn’t greatness person they want kids skilled (after living together). It’s unadorned perfectly reasonable request. Esp. subsequently 3 years of dating. It’s not like it’s a another relationship.” – SatinDoll15

14. “Maybe unquestionable just hated living with her majesty ex and doesn’t want pick up go down that same towpath with you. I wouldn’t grab it personal if I were you. But if it’s suggestion you really want and elegance doesn’t, that needs to verbal abuse addressed.” – midnightslip

15. “He’s crabby not that into you.” – MessyEnema

16. “My now ex frank the same thing. He dragged his feet at every singular step in the relationship. Loosen up only came back begging daunting to move in AFTER Side-splitting broke up with him. Astonishment postponed the original move slash date for an entire origin, and he still didn’t hope for to take the step. Amazement had other problems but rule reluctance to move forward involved our relationship was the sign over of the other problems. No problem said he loved me, on the contrary he was using me kind a trophy to dangle break off front of his ex…nothing more.” – LostPinkDaffodil